We round off this month’s update with another tale of buffoonery. This month, we have a tale that gives the term Private Dicks a new meaning. Det Con Jose Lagares of the North Unit in London was dismissed without notice after he pleaded guilty to stalking in the Magistrates Court.

Mr Lagares was reported to have been sighted several times outside a colleague’s home, including hiding in a stairwell and following her on a bus and to the gym. He stated the stalking stemmed from severe loneliness.

A criminal conviction for stalking is never going to aid any job but given the nature of being a detective it is also a breach of duty in a public office and a suggestion he might not be a successful sleuth!